In class, we’ve discussed different issues concerning teens and privacy.  How they portray themselves on the various social networking sites can play a factor in how others perceive their identities.  But what happens when others become involved in creating your online personality (especially unwanted help)?

A made for TV movie entitled Cyberbully, was made in hopes to “delete digital drama.”  It shows a teenage girl named Taylor Hillridge, becoming a victim to cyber bullying.  She received a laptop for her seventeenth birthday, without having to deal with her mom watching over her shoulder at what she is doing online.  Taylor created a “Cliquesters” page (the movie’s version of Facebook/Myspace), and was soon attacked by her fellow peers.  Her own brother hacked into her account and wrote a sexually explicit status.  People were portraying her as a “slut” through comments on her wall and pictures, and also created a fake video portraying her as being pregnant and selling her body on street corners.   Also, one of her best friends created a fake profile (unbeknownst to Taylor till the end of the movie), where she posed as a teenage boy named James.  The purpose of this was to distract Taylor from another boy in her high school (who she felt he only liked her so he could hook up with her), and make her fall for James.  The plan backfired, and in retaliation Taylor’s friend (as James) posted that he had sex with her and that she gave him an STD.  Because of all the drama created on “Cliquesters,” Taylor attempted to commit suicide (though was unsuccessful).

In this movie, Taylor’s mom was very vocal about her dissent of the use of social networking sites, as we can see in real life as well.  She trusted Taylor to use the internet with responsibility and not to give out personal information.  Every time something happened on her profile, the mother told her to take down the account.  But who is really going to listen to their parents anyway?

Hasinoff, points out that there is this moral panic around adults of what teenagers are doing with their phones and Facebook.  They are worried about their children meeting strangers online who set out to hurt them, based on what teenagers provide online.  But the problem that we found in class with this belief is that we are sensationalizing the few cases where it is a stranger’s fault, and displacing our anger and frustration onto the technology we are using.   However, in the case of Cyberbully, Taylor’s poor self-image and depression, were not created by a stranger, but by those who were closest to her.  Maybe parents should start to realize that perhaps it’s not the technology of Facebook or cell phones.  People put so much emphasis on the dangers of these social networking sites and that users don’t understand their capabilities.  It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee.  Yes, these sites offer the affordances to do such things as post videos, pictures, wall posts, and personal information about ourselves.  But on the other hand (as I have stated in a few of my other blog posts), these technologies do not offer the means of posting negativity on the internet, rather it is the user.

I personally have also had to deal with negativity on Facebook (and I wasn’t even in high school).  A few months ago, I dealt with a bad break up and was starting to develop a new relationship.  One of my closest friends, decided to take it upon herself to air my dirty laundry on Facebook, by posting statuses about my situation and calling me several derogatory names.  I was in complete distraught by everything that was going on, and had a really rough time dealing with the situation.  Of course, my mother believed this was Facebook’s fault, like every other parent quick to jump to blaming technology.  It’s easy to blame the technology over an actual person, especially one who is important to you.  I knew my friend was the one I had an issue with, not Facebook. From that experience, I realized who really is in control of what they do or say online, and what effects might stem from it.

We shouldn’t concern ourselves with blasting Facebook (or other such sites) as the evildoer.  It is all about how we present ourselves, and the way we choose to use these sites.   We need to come to terms that there is no third person effect, we are all affected by media in some way shape or form, based on how people choose to use the different technologies.  People need to take control of their usage and realize that there are consequences, not just for themselves, but for others.

As we have read in Baym, there are different qualities of communities echoed in social media.  These include a sense of space, shared practice, shared resources and support, shared identities, and interpersonal relationships.  We can look at these qualities to evaluate online relationships that are fostered or created using social media networks.

Different social media networks are meant as spaces for having an informal social life outside of what occurs in our real lives.  But is this type of social life always a positive one?  After watching Life 2.0, I have seen a very distorted reality.  Second Life in this film is portrayed through following very heavy users of the site, who mainly have problems because of their online personas.  We saw one couple that met on Second Life, forming an emotional relationship, portrayed as “true love.”  However, when the online relationship became offline and in real life, it became evident that the honeymoon period was over.  They started to be less like their online personalities, and were more so a hoax.  Not only did this relationship come to an end, but also there was another relationship in the film that focused on an already established real life relationship, that was being destroyed by a user’s addiction to Second Life.  When I was watching the film, I felt like David after the dentist, saying to myself “is this real life?”  I feel the film was showing an exaggerated portrayal of users on Second Life.  Yes it made the film more interesting, but it went towards a very extreme point of view.  Not everyone using these type of sites are like this, there are a lot of varying degrees in which they’re used.  This representation made me think as a viewer that Second Life was the cause of the damaged relationships rather than the users themselves.  But I have come to understand the opposite when thinking more about social media.

A question that was brought up in class, and one that I mentioned on Twitter, was whether it’s the social media sites that destroy relationships, or is it the users’ fault.  People are quick to blame sites like Facebook for reeking havoc on not only relationships with our significant others, but also with friendships, and even those we consider our enemies.  Is Facebook really to blame?  Yes, Facebook is a medium that presents different opportunities for us, given the various affordances provided by the site, but does Facebook have a soul?  Is it the thing that is creating statuses, writing on their friends’ walls, or stalking people?  People make their own decisions about what they do on Facebook or other social media sites.  They create their profiles, and portray themselves as how they want to be seen (not including what their friends post about them because it can be taken out of context).  People are the ones who use Facebook however they like, whether it be for stalking/lurking purposes, staying in touch with friends, forming new relationships, or as their personal diary for all of their friends to see.  A video I found on YouTube actually discusses infidelity and Facebook.  Rather than putting the blame on Facebook for unfaithfulness, the two speakers discuss how Facebook is a tool that a person uses to become “emotionally” attached to others.  This is more damaging because people who become emotionally involved with others while in a relationship, can be considered more real than (though it’s happening online) a physical/sexual affair.  When emotions become involved, it has more meaning behind it, creating deep feelings, which can prove to be worse when cheating on your significant other.

An article I found discusses what social media sites can do to relationships.  Stacy Kaiser gives the warning that “social networking sites can open a Pandora’s box of relationship destroyers— unleashing everything from affairs, the rekindling of past toxic relationships, jealousy, imaginary online relationships that replace face-to-face intimacy, and online stalking, to name just a few.”  The article explains the most common problems that arise out of these different social media networks.  Sites like Facebook do provide people with the ability to look at their ex’s profiles, talking to others, etc.  However, it is a person’s choice to take part in these acts.  After all, who coined the term “stalking?” Was it Facebook?  Facebook isn’t holding a gun to your head and saying “You must cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, OR ELSE!!!”  Though the article doe s discuss the problems that can arise in relationships through the use of social media networks, it does give advice at the end of the article that I feel everyone should follow to prevent these issues from occurring.  Kaiser says, “The power to find, build and maintain a quality intimate relationship lies within you, the individual.”